The Friday Movies Spectacular, Pt. 1. Expect Sequels!

It's Friday, dear friends, which used to mean a trip to the theaters to check out all the hot new releases. Today, it means a trip to the theaters to check out all the hot new releases, IF you're independently wealthy or had the foresight to take out a small personal loan prior to heading out. Anyway, we’re just a few weeks into the 2011 summer movie crush, which we’ll affectionately refer to as The Déjà vu Summer. Or, if we’re feeling less affectionate, we can refer to it as The Summer of Rampant Non-Creative Douchebaggery. I am fairly convinced that all the major movie studios have designed a giant wheel featuring the names of every film released since 1980, and every few days they spin it to decide what to pitch for a remake. I mean, aside from the 10% or so of mainstream Hollywood films that feature completely original ideas and stories, what do we get? Remakes, reboots, sequels, and “the next superhero on the list” entries. This summer we have already gotten a buttload of sequels (it’s true; I double-checked my count to make sure), with new episodes of the Pirates of the Caribbean, Fast And Furious, Kung Fu Panda, and The Hangover families all already being released a week into June.

Oh, but that’s not all. Still to come, we’ve got more sequelage: Cars 2, plus new entries from the Transformers and Harry Potter franchises, and, um, Final Destination 5, will all be onscreen before Labor Day weekend. Add to that mix a few notable reboots/remakes, like new Conan, Fright Night, X-Men (sorta), and Winnie The Pooh (hey, it’s notable to some; in this case to all the 3-8 year olds who will get beat up a lot in a few years), and it becomes clear that “heavy on originality” is NOT one of the terms that best describes Summer 2k11.

Before you start bitching, and fill up my Comments box below (Editor’s Note: There is a “Comments Box” below) with hurtful slandering, I will mention that there ARE some promising original features out or coming soon this season, such as Prom, Jumping The Broom, The Beaver, Zookeeper…er, okay nevermind. Nah. Seriously, I am looking forward, I think, to Super 8 (opening today), Captain America, Cowboys & Aliens, and a few others. Green Lantern…well, you I’m not so sure about. I want to like you, I really do, but I like my superhero movies played with less camp and less iffy CGI. I have by no means written you off as a Summer bust, but I will be keeping an eye on you…

I’ve heard some pretty good things about the next installment of the Transformers saga, Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Words like “a strong effort” and “easily the best in the franchise” have been posted by early reviewers. It sounds like things take a turn for the dark in this movie, with Chicago being basically wiped out and some other dire happenings, which often makes for the most engaging cinematic experience (The Empire Strikes Back comes to mind). But one thing I am absolutely LIVID about is the fact that Michael Bay dropped the beautiful and…um…beautiful Megan Fox from the production. I mean not to sound too Bud-Light-Drinkin’-Guy here, but Fox was the only eye candy we got, and…

…K. I forgive you.

I’ll be efforting to see Super 8 sometime this weekend, the new film from J.J. Abrams about a mysterious train crash in the late 70’s that releases something near a small Ohio town, prompting the townsfolk, and specifically a group of kids, to begin investigating. Abrams makes no bones about the fact that the movie is a direct homage to Steven Spielberg, and more specifically his earlier works such as E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I love this idea, as there is definitely a part of me that misses small-town America and the perceived innocence it possessed. Crossing that hometown appeal with Cloverfield sounds like a great idea to me. Sadly, being the Dad of an elementary-school student, I know how this is going to work out. I’ll go into this weekend targeting Super 8, and emerge from this weekend having seen Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer. Wish me luck, my friends.

Have a great weekend, and I hope you’ll join me again on Monday for more!